191

I'm 191 lbs today! Woo. It's so fucked up that I'm cheering myself on for being such a high number. My future is fucked. If I can't lose all this fucking weight by the time that my boyfriend comes, then he's probably not even gonna like me anymore. Nah he's not that superficial. But god damnit I feel like he won't ya know? Cause I'm so paranoid about what everyone is thinking all the damn time. 

I'm watching American horror story right now, I love this freaking show. Anyway my future is screwed. I havent Studied for the SATs and I'm taking them next month. $51 down the drain. I haven't finished college applications. LOL I haven't even started applications. I'm so fucking lame and I'm probably gonna pick up garbage for the rest of forever. I can't get a job either. I have no money and no future so I might as well just fucking die now. Whatever maybe that's what's best.