Tuesday, September 17, 2013


Sorry I haven't posted in a while guys, I've had a lot of bullshit going on. For the past 2 weeks or so I've been walking/running with my puppy almost everyday! but I've still been eating like the fucking fatty that I am. I honestly feel like I'm just a lost cause. Sure I'm exercising but my new pants don't even fit me anymore, what the fuck like seriously I'm such a failure. I ate like 3 fattening things today, but that's it. Tonight I'm gonna drink pickle juice instead of eating because it always makes me feel gross and bloated so I won't be tempted to eat anything else. I'm so tired of this constant fat battle. I have to train my body to not want fattening food. My mom said I'm starting to grow a double chin D: thanks for the love mom -__- I've been battling with depression again for the past 3 weeks and I'm seriously behind in my classes. I only have part of my first college essay done so far, I'm so behind. Now I have to worry about the stupid SAT's. words cannot describe my stress level right now. I'm tired and frustrated oh and I finally got my medication (both prescriptions) so now I'm having to adjust to that. I am having to deal with all the fucking side effects of the trazodone ALL OVER AGAIN. because my mother skipped an entire month of my damn prescription. So now I feel like a zombie and I've had a migraine for the past 4 days. Not to mention that I remain tired unless I get 12 hours of sleep. yes you read that right, I have to sleep for half a day in order to feel awake in the "morning"
I don't know how much I weigh but it's probably close to the high 180's. sigh. now you guys are gonna have to hear me groan about the whole weight loss process all over again lol but it will be worth it when I finally reach my goal!! woooooo

staying positive even though it doesn't sound like it :D


~xoxo anamia~

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