Wednesday, June 10, 2015


Today is my birthday. You think that I'd feel more excited. 19 woohoo big frigging deal. I'm still a giant waste of space. 

Tuesday, June 9, 2015


Morning ladies and gents, I haven't slept since 5pm yesterday. I'm probably not going to get any sleep because I start work in a few hours. I'll probably pick up some coffee to keep me awake. I don't really want to deal with shitty people all day, especially this early in the morning, but it's what I'm paid to do so whatever. 

I'm stressed out about college that I haven't even started yet. My birthday is tomorrow and I'm just bummed as shit. Birthdays always mean food. My best friend is already talking about a Chinese food and movie night. I need to start some boot camp training or something. I want to work my ass off until there is nothing left and then keep working. I need to. 

Monday, June 8, 2015

Back again

I wish I didn't have to live anymore. I am tormented by the thoughts in my own freaking head and it is so hard just to get through the day. I reached my highest weight ever 226 and lost a few pounds with juice fasting. 

I don't know how much I weigh right now because I haven't stepped on a scale in a week. I'm going to try to do a water fast or maybe start the abc diet again. I just need to stop being a disgusting fatty for once. I hate myself.