Wednesday, October 12, 2011

hello hello hello (:

okay so I'm still on my period. i think I'm dying. I've been on it for like 1 1/2 weeks already >.< (sigh) okay but I'm in a wayyyy happier mood today then yesterday. first of all, i haven't eaten all day today (a full meal) and i barely realized it right now. and second of all, my boyfriend...we'll call him F. F has really been trying to prove himself to me as of late. was the first time I've seen him since i found out about his lies on Monday. since Monday we've just been communicating on the phone and facebook. and he couldn't come over yesterday because he has the flu so he had to stay home and his dad wouldn't let him have company. so he came over today with a sore throat, phlegmy cough, chest pains, and full on exhaustion just for me. OH. and did i mention that he waited OUTSIDE, in 90 degree weather, FOR AN HOUR, just for me to get home? he did that all for me <3 but while walking home from school it gave me a lot of time to think about how he basically used me for sexual favors and stuff even though he didn't love me. so i was just some whore he wanted to give him handjobs without any emotional attachment. it made me feel worthless hehe. then he put in south park and cuddled with me on the couch. he wouldn't let me get up because he didn't want me to leave his side :D he just kissed my forehead while we watched TV and kept me wrapped in his arms. my head was laying on his chest, it felt exactly like when we first started dating, new and gooey in love ya know? but i told him that i couldn't fully believe that he loved me yet. then we talked about what happened between us and stuff. i found out that he absolutely did NOT cheat on me. thank god. i was worrying about that all day. he kept coughing when we were laying down so i made him some chicken noodle soup and tea :3 i realized i was sort've a bitch to him lately so I'm trying to improve my attitude a little. when i got up to make him tea he didn't want me to leave the couch because he was scared i wouldn't come back lol. he said he was writing me a letter and making me something in mindcraft. in august he made me a sign that said "i love....J" it really said my name but i don't want my name on the blog so i inserted J instead, he made me that sign on mindcraft and uploaded it to facebook. hes such a noob :P i hope everything goes okay. he talks about our future. i hope the future is set in stone (even though everyone thinks it isn't)
okay enough with my personal life today. i found this quote i thought you might like.

"starve my pain away, make me beautiful, make everything okay, turn my problems into bone, crush them up, gather the remains, blow away the dust."

and this one

"There will always be another Oreo, another bowl of cereal, another casserole. I do not have to eat it now. It will just make me fat."

hope i thinspired you <3

stay strong my lovely skinnies,

with love,

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