Saturday, March 23, 2013

Sex and the city

I have watched this show off and on for a couple years now but didn't get obsessed with it until recently. It's one of the best thinspos out there I think. There are all these beautiful and thin women. It's so inspirational. Sarah Jessica parker has the thinnest legs ever, I want her thighs.
I'm a leg person. Meaning, I want thin long legs before anything else. When I see other girls the first thing I look at are their thighs. It's not checking them out, its sizing them up. I want, Nonono I NEED skinny long legs. It's bad enough that I'm short, I don't want to be stumpy too. So that's my goal. I want to be able to wrap my hands around my thigh. A lot of people think that's disgusting and too skinny but I crave it more than any food.
J and I were talking on the phone right now and he is just so wonderful. I'm the first girl he's ever actually talked about a future with. We have so much in common its crazy. For example, we both come from broken families and don't really want to get married or have kids for a really long time. Another thing is that we both suffer from depression that comes out of nowhere, like we just get numb for no reason and feel really empty sometimes. We can make each other laugh for hours, but can also be serious and comforting for one another in our time of need. He knows EVERYTHING about me, even about my eating issues and that I was sexually abused. He's never been cared for and I'm the kind of girl that takes care of her boyfriends by cooking for them and holding them and stuff; I've never been treated to an actual date by a guy and he's the kind of guy that treats his women to actual dates. So I guess you can say that we complete each other, which makes me really really happy. He's just perfect. But I'm not getting my hopes too high because I'm barely gonna see him in June. I don't know how to explain it but I just have this feeling that its gonna be perfect, ya know? Not in that teenage girl love struck kind of way, but in the whole "we might actually have a future" kind of way. It's just a feeling in my gut. I don't really know how to explain it.
So I must weigh 150 by then! At least. I'm hoping 145 but whatever as long as I'm out of the 70's/80's. I need to do this. I have to.

Staying strong <3

~xoxo anamia~

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